Before I start this little rant, lets get the semantics out of the way. I’m employed. No lie, officially employed by a real company. I’ll be starting at cars.com as an account manager on June 3rd. Yes, it’s about time and embarrassing the amount of time it took me to put myself in a position to get my life back together. Thanks goes to all that supported me, and F off to all those who didn’t (you know who you are). For those who forgot how much fun I am when I have money; get prepared, because in 6-9 months I might be able to return the favors that have been given to me.
Next, congrats to Meghan on the graduation from high school on Friday. You’ve taken the last step towards having to be totally responsible. Enjoy it while it lasts, because responsibility sucks, especially when you’re bad at it like I am. Don’t worry, I’ll do everything in my power to help you avoid all the mistakes I made in the past. I know one thing, I can be a great big brother.
Also to be discussed, congrats to my cousin Sara on her upcoming nuptials. I’ll be updating on the whole family, as the Torrence/Valle clan will all be reuniting for the first time in many, many moons. It’s amazing to think about what Sara is going through right now with in anticipation of her wedding and moving to JAPAN for two years. God Bless in everything, Sara.
Now, on to Starbucks. I’ve had the unfortunate timing of getting my coffee at the exact time that the rich mothers of the Southport Corridor find it necessary to drag their kids into a tiny coffeehouse to annoy the shit out of me. I’ve grown up with siblings much younger than myself and I’m used to be around kids, so maybe its a combination of getting older and these kids not being related to me. BUT, the MO for my experiences at Starbucks lately have been littered with toddlers falling in front of me, stepping on my feet and just being loud and/or obnoxious. I’m young, I’m somewhat agile, but just because you feel it’s necessary to let your kids run wild while you discuss the pre-preschool that you’re trying to get your youngest enrolled in to the OTHER mom behind me who’s suffering from the same level of moronic disrespect for others as you are, does not mean I won’t accidentally put your kid into the cooler of crappy sandwiches and bottled water. Maybe I can blame this on Momma Valle, she was always super embarrassed anytime her kids acted like…well…kids, in public. So, I’m used to a higher level of respect coming from the parents of littles ones in public. Apologizing to me as your kid steps on me for the third time is not showing respect, in fact just thinking that its ok for your kid to annoy complete strangers as long as you apologize is even more disrespectful than your kid stomping on my toes. It’s just a matter of respect, people. Let’s work on manners at an early age so I don’t have to deal with this crap again when your kid has kids and lets them run around in some futuristic Starbucks in the future. Maybe at that point someone will figure out that Dunkin’ Donuts coffee is superior to Starbucks, which is a whole different subject that does not need to be broached at this point.
A final congrats go out to my buddy Dave who just got engaged. Seriously, you bastards are dropping like flies. Luckily, by time I finally get married, you will all be rich and able to afford to buy me expensive wedding presents.
our parents did a goo job raising us. we would never be out in a public place screaming, throwing things or hitting each other. ever.
but seriously, i hate when small children act like that. i normally kick them until they stop screeching. you should try it.